If I’m Really Honest

Rick Alan Ross - Cults: Inside And Out

This conversation gets precise about what makes a cult a cult. Rick Alan Ross explains early warning signs, how authority gets sacralized, why “thought-terminating clichés” work, and what respectful, evidence-based interventions look like. We revisit Waco, NXIVM, and other case studies—not to sensationalize, but to learn how to spot coercion, preserve relationships, and protect loved ones.
Guest links:• Cult Education Institute — https://culteducation.com/ Cult Education Institute• Cults Inside Out (book) — https://cultsinsideout.com/the-book/ CULTS INSIDE OUT
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Michelle Dowd - Forager in an Apocalyptic Cult

This episode features an honest, moving conversation with author and educator Michelle Dowd, whose memoir Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Cult explores growing up inside a high-control religious community and building a new life beyond it. We discuss her forthcoming book A Prodigal Daughter, her Substack newsletter where she engages with readers, and her pilot series based on the stories of people who lived in and left the group.
Michelle shares her experience of leaving the community, raising four children differently, navigating relationships with family who stayed, and the long process of healing from attachment loss and indoctrination.
Connect with Michelle Dowd:
Forager: Field Notes on Surviving a Cult on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Forager-Field-Notes-Surviving-Cult/dp/164375308X
Michelle Dowd’s Substack newsletter: https://michelledowd.substack.com
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Website: https://IfImReallyHonest.com
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Songmi Han - North Korean escapee, feat. Casey Lartigue

In this powerful episode of If I’m Really Honest, Jamin Coller speaks with Song Mi, a North Korean defector who escaped at age 17 after years of hunger, surveillance, and propaganda. Song Mi shares how her mother’s escape opened her mind to the outside world, the dangers she faced crossing China, Laos, and the Mekong River, and what it was like to be monitored 24/7, endure public executions, and attend self-criticism sessions. She also explains how she learned about South Korea and the West, how propaganda shaped her childhood, and why “truth is not allowed” inside North Korea. This conversation goes far beyond her book, exploring what daily life is (and isn’t) like for North Koreans, why family networks are critical to escape, and the misconceptions outsiders often have. We also discuss her work today as Manager for External Affairs at Freedom Speakers International, the organization that helped produce her story and is now making a documentary about her family’s journey.
Guest Links
• https://smile.amazon.com/Greenlight-Freedom-Korean-Daughters-Herself-ebook/dp/B09SPVHGQF
• https://www.patreon.com/cw/caseylartigue • https://www.patreon.com/c/fsi21/home
Show Links
• IfImReallyHonest.com
• Superfan Page – JaminColler.com/iirh_Superfans
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Lynn Nadel - What Do We Really Know About The Brain?

Cognitive maps, place/grid/time cells, H.M., consolidation, reconsolidation, and free will — this deep-dive with Dr. Lynn Nadel explores how the hippocampal formation knits space and time into experience, and why that matters for who we become. Resources and references mentioned in the episode are linked in the show notes.
Guest links: UA profile – https://psychology.arizona.edu/person/lynn-nadel | The Hippocampus as a Cognitive Map (open access) – https://discovery.ucl.ac.uk/id/eprint/10103569/ | Space, Time, and Memory (OUP) – https://global.oup.com/academic/product/space-time-and-memory-9780192882547 | PNAS article – https://www.pnas.org/doi/10.1073/pnas.2119670118
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Tim Mills - From Missionary to Harmonic Atheist

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Tim Mills, aka The Harmonic Atheist — a former pastor-in-training, missionary, and Bible memorization champion who spent decades deeply invested in evangelical Christianity before leaving the faith at 42.
We explore his story of deconversion, the dominoes that began to fall during years of study, and how he now helps others heal from religious trauma. Topics include:
Bible quizzing and memorizing entire books
Missionary work in Papua New Guinea with New Tribes Mission (Ethnos360)
Comparative mythology and parallels between Christianity and older traditions
The psychological toll of indoctrination and why healing is a long process
Launching The Harmonic Atheist as a platform for storytelling and recovery
Guest Links:
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@HarmonicAtheist
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/HarmonicAtheist
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Rabbi Tovia Singer - What Pharisees Actually Believed

Today’s episode features Rabbi Tovia Singer (Outreach Judaism) offering a Jewish perspective on Jesus’s crucifixion, who/what “Messiah” means in Tanakh, how the Pharisees are portrayed, and what it really means to be “under the Law.” Whether you’re a Christian, a Jew, or just curious, this is a thoughtful challenge to common assumptions—shared in the tone this show prizes: seeking truth without tribalism.
Guest links:• Outreach Judaism (official): https://outreachjudaism.org• Rabbi Tovia Singer’s YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCaw8quRcRzjmw0BI1vn-dnA• Let’s Get Biblical (2-volume set): https://outreachjudaism.org/shop/lets-get-biblical-expanded-2-volume-study-guide/• Volume 1: https://outreachjudaism.org/shop/lets-get-biblical-volume-1-study-guide/• Volume 2: https://outreachjudaism.org/shop/lets-get-biblical-volume-2-study-guide/
 
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Daryl Davis - Klan Whisperer

Music, empathy, and hard conversations with Darryl Davis—the pianist who has spent decades befriending people in hate-based groups and tracing rock & roll’s true lineage. We cover Elvis’s first spin on Dewey Phillips’ show, Sun Records, Little Richard vs. Pat Boone, Led Zeppelin’s “borrowed” blues, FCC/radio history, and why travel + dialogue still change hearts.
Guest links:Official — https://www.daryldavis.com YouTubeAccidental Courtesy (PBS) — https://www.pbs.org/independentlens/documentaries/accidental-courtesy/ WikipediaThe Klan Whisperer (Amazon) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DRSWK4K9/ Amazon
Resources mentioned:Joe Rogan Experience — https://open.spotify.com/show/4rOoJ6Egrf8K2IrywzwOMk SpotifyTimcast IRL — https://www.youtube.com/@TimcastIRL YouTubeThe Wire (HBO / cameo trivia) — https://www.hbomax.com/shows/wire/1bc3aff5-0d6a-4c0b-8ed0-5716ca30ab3b | https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0749436/trivia/ HBO MaxIMDbElvis / Dewey Phillips interview (audio) — https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uV8W4hG7vA Rustic PathwaysSun Records — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sun_Records Wikipedia“That’s All Right” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/That%27s_All_Right Facebook“Tutti Frutti” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tutti_Frutti_(song) Travel.gov“Surfin’ U.S.A.” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surfin%27_U.S.A. Simple Wikipedia“You Need Love” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/You_Need_Love Wikipedia“Whole Lotta Love” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whole_Lotta_Love Wikipedia“Killing Floor” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_Floor_(Howlin%27_Wolf_song) Wikipedia“The Lemon Song” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Lemon_Song The Free Speech CenterLeiber & Stoller — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Leiber_and_Mike_Stoller The Free Speech CenterOtis Blackwell — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Otis_Blackwell Wikipedia“Great Balls of Fire” — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Balls_of_Fire WikipediaDolly Parton / Elvis publishing story — https://www.southernliving.com/culture/celebrities/dolly-parton-elvis-presley-i-will-always-love-you WikipediaRadio Act of 1912 — https://firstamendment.mtsu.edu/article/radio-act-of-1912/ The Free Speech CenterFCC overview — https://www.fcc.gov/about-fcc/what-we-do Federal Communications CommissionNSM (context) — https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Socialist_Movement_(United_States) WikipediaDeeyah Khan’s White Right — https://deeyah.com/blog/white-right-meeting-enemy/ Deeyah KhanMark Twain, The Innocents Abroad — https://www.gutenberg.org/files/3176/3176-h/3176-h.htm Project Gutenberg
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Jeff Schoep - From Hate to Humanity

In this episode of If I’m Really Honest, I sit down with Jeff Schoep, former leader of the National Socialist Movement, to talk about his transformation from extremism to advocacy. We explore why people are drawn to extremist groups, how fear and scapegoating shape radicalization, and the difficult process of leaving behind hate-filled ideology. Jeff shares the personal turning points, human connections, and values that guided him into a new mission: helping others find their way out.
Get Jeff's book: https://jeffschoep.com/buy-book/
And follow him: https://linktr.ee/jeffschoep 
 
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Tovia Singer - A Rabbi Grades My Homework

Rabbi Tovia Singer joins to walk through core Jewish readings of the Hebrew Bible: what messianic prophecies actually say, why the first century looks like the opposite of a messianic age, how genealogies and the Jeconiah curse collide with virgin-birth claims, and why Deuteronomy 30 and Ezekiel 18 undercut the idea that forgiveness requires a mediator. We also dig into the order of the Tanakh vs. the Christian Old Testament, “New Covenant” language in Hebrews, what “Chosen People” means, Noahide law, and the Nation vs. State distinction.
Links
• https://www.youtube.com/@ToviaSinger1
• Let's Get Biblical: https://www.amazon.com/Biblical-Doesnt-Judaism-Christian-Messiah/dp/0615348394
• https://www.IfImReallyHonest.com
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If I’m Really Honest – Trailer

What happens when curiosity beats tribalism? If I’m Really Honest is a podcast where ignorance isn’t punished, hard questions are welcomed, and disagreement doesn’t mean contempt. Host Jamin Coller talks with people from all sides—atheists, pastors, activists, rabbis, former extremists—to uncover the nuance in our most polarizing issues.